"Just Say 'No'"
Those of my generation remember Nancy Reagan, first lady at the time, telling children and teenagers all over the world to "Just say 'no'." She was referring of course to drugs. I grew up knowing that it was my right to say "no". What I didn't realize was how the phrase "no" at such a pivotal moment could be such a bad thing.
After a couple months of marriage, Don told me he was in Special Education throughout his schooling. With my background in Elementary Education I was horrified. Not only had Don struggled through school, but he had hardly attended in the first place. He graduated from an alternative high school in California.
Up until that point I had been determined that Don get his bachelors. It just wasn't a question or a decision that I thought had to be made. It became a question when I saw how hard school was for him.
Several years later we sent for his school records. His special education files noted several areas with which he struggled. It made both of us wonder where he was at now. Had he overcome all his disabilities? Were there areas that he could use some extra help? What could we find out to make schooling easier for him?
That's where Dr. Morris came in. He met with Don several times to administer various tests to determine his academic strengths. After several weeks we all met together in Dr. Morris's office for the final results.
We learned several fascinating facts from the testing. Don was able to understand and remember things he read when he read them out loud. He struggled with basic math skills. But he seemed to have no problem when it came to writing. The doctor also said that there was an unexplained missing connection in his brain. It could only be explained as brain damage or a brain tumor.
Everything else the doctor said didn't matter after that point. Don either had suffered some sort of brain injury or he had a brain tumor. With both of his parents deceased, there was a slimmer chance of finding out if he had brain damage. His other living relatives didn't recall any traumatic head injuries in Don's childhood. That left us with the possibility that Don had a brain tumor.
I don't remember exactly how old our first child Kyath was at the time, but I know he was just a baby. I was still getting used to being a mom. Our marriage was still adjusting to parenthood. Then we found out that Don could possibly have a brain tumor.
We made the appointment right away for Don to have a CAT scan. We wanted to know if there was anything to worry about and if our life was about to change, again.
I met Don at the office where he was getting the CAT scan. By the time I got there, Don had already gone in for the scan. I was nervous . I hoped they wouldn't find anything. I hoped that there wasn't anything to worry about.
Don came out smiling. He said the test went well. We would find out the results in a couple of days.
Don mentioned the waiver form they asked him to sign before the procedure. It was a release form giving the department the right to administer a dye needed to see the brain clearly for the CAT scan. There was a warning specifically mentioning that one in a million people could possibly be allergic to the dye and could actually die. Don read the warning and freaked out. He knew he would be the poor one person out of a million that would be allergic to the dye. He refused to sign the waiver, but insisted on the CAT scan.
Don had listened to Nancy Reagan all those years ago. He knew he could say "no" and he did. After all, it is his body and it was his right to say "no" to drugs. Drugs bad- say "no". Thanks Nancy, thanks a lot!
By the time Don told me it was too late. The test was over. I could not believe what Don had done. Why would he refuse a common dye that was part of the CAT scan? Why did he have the CAT scan done after he refused the dye? What if he really did have a tumor and the doctors would not be able to see it? These were all questions that I would never really get an answer to.
The results came back. It began with a huge disclaimer. It stated that the patient, Donald Moore, had refused the dye. It clarified that without the dye, the test would be basically inconclusive and inaccurate. There was not a way to see a tumor without dye and because there was no dye administered, the tests could not adequately determine if there was or was not a tumor.
Don read through the results. I asked him what they reported. Don looked at me completely relieved and said, "I don't have a tumor."
