Looking Back

Right before my mission I started to feel this pain in my hand right by my thumb. I thought nothing of it. I figured it was tendinitis or something. I was going on a mission and that was what I was focusing on.

After a few months in Germany I became very sick. It didn't surprise me because we were on bikes all day in rain and snow. I was in bed for a week. I remember how hard it was to get out of bed just to eat. I went to see a doctor and he told me I was just having cramps. My German sucked at the time, so I knew I just didn't explain my symptoms right. I just started taking a lot of Ibuprofen and doing the mission work.

The pain in my thumb started to spread. I took over both my hands. I went to the doctor and she told me I must have been bitten by a tick. I explained that I hadn't seen signs of a tick. But that didn't get me anywhere.

Did I mention that I served in what once was East Germany? It was five years after the wall came down and the doctors were still forty years behind the rest of the world. I was beginning to understand that the doctors in East Germany wouldn't be able to help me.

I transferred to my next city. I had a German companion and my German improved dramatically.

The pain spread to my back and legs. Okay, so it was all over. But I was not about to be sent home. I tried not to let anyone know the extent to the pain I was in. My companion was able to communicate with a doctor. He started giving me cortisone shots in my back. That helped tremendously. My companion and I worked our tails off. I was so thankful I was able to keep working hard. I did not want to be known as one of the "sick sisters".

Fast forward a couple of months. My mission president heard that I was in a lot of pain. He knew I was still working hard and that I didn't want to go home. He decided to transfer me to a bigger city where I could see more specialized doctors. When he told me I would be transferred, he gave me a special blessing. The blessing stated that I would be out of pain and able to work until I was able to see a doctor in the new area. I had many blessing previously, but this one was a true miracle. The pain vanished. I had been to a point that I couldn't even touch things without a shock going through my body. I didn't know how I was possibly going to pack my bags and drag them on a train. But the pain vanished.

I really want to stop writing because I am afraid to share these things. I am afraid what people will think or how they will perceive me. It was a dark time in my life, but I was determined to stay on my mission and work hard. But if I stop here, I won't ever get to my main point.

When I saw the doctor in my new area, she looked at me with such immediate concern. She told me I was in bad shape and that I needed to be admitted to the hospital. I refused. I knew about East German medicine and the hospitals. She referred me a specialized doctor.

He was the final doctor I saw in Germany. He diagnosed me with Rheumatic Fever and gave me penicillin shots. He stocked me up on Prednizone and more Penicillin to take with me the rest of my mission. Then he sucked out all the fluid that had been building up in my knee. He truly made it possible for me to serve the rest of my mission.

Prednisone is a funny thing. It helped me manage the pain. But Prednisone is also a steroid. I would take it in the morning and I was unstoppable. We would do all the door-to-door in the morning and leave the visits till later in the day when my energy started to wear down.

By the end of my mission, I had thrashed my body. I was walking with a limp and my knees were swollen. I had gotten to a point where I couldn't jump. But after a year and a half of feeling like that and working anyway, I had accepted my fate. I knew I would never be normal again. I was damaged goods. I can't tell you how scared I was to come home and let everyone see how disfigured I had become.

Those that know me now probably think I am making this all up. That's a good thing. That tells you that I came home and recovered. I regained my movement. I minimized the pain. I married and had four children. I can tell you how thankful I am.

I write this all because the pain has come back in my hands. Two weeks ago it was just in my fingers. Each day it has spread a little more. I look back at what I have endured and I am not afraid to say that I am worried. I am worried that I will have to go through what I did before. I am afraid that I will be in the pain I was in before. I am afraid people will start looking at me with the pity that they did before. I am afraid I will loose my movement again. I am afraid.

I keep asking Don if I really should blog this. I don't want everyone to feel bad for me. It is really hard for me to share. I have started taking Glucosamine, Chondroitin, fish oil and every other natural thing I can get my hands on. I am still looking for the magic cure and am open to any advice.

All Alone and Ready to Play

We just came back from San Francisco on Friday. I still have motion sickness from the Blue and Gold boat tour. Even short distances are making me nauseous. Don still has a week off of work and he really wanted to go to Las Vegas to visit his nephew and see if he can find his brother. He has kept bringing this up and it really is the last thing I want to do. So, last night, he loaded up the truck with all the kids and went to Vegas.

May 3rd? Wow.

My sister left me a comment telling me it was time to update my blog. I just looked at the date and she is right.

School has been out for a week and I feel like I have done a lot. I spent two days cleaning carpets, one day cleaning the kitchen, and one day (Monday) just enjoying the day off. But today, I have done hardly anything and I am feeling like I have wasted the day. The frustrating thing is the kitchen is a mess again and there are toys all over my clean carpet. When does the house stay clean? I think one of my friends has a great idea. She cleans the house and then she leaves for the day. She hangs out at other people's houses. That could keep my house clean.

On a side note, I have to keep telling myself that it is okay to sit and just relax. So how do I do that without feeling lazy? Oh, and how do I stop eating?

Goodbye Sammy, Hello Millie and Cocoa

So we had to get rid of Sammy a week after we got him. Kyath was crushed. Sammy bit two of our neighbors. One child, they actually took the child to the doctor. He was just playing, but it broke through skin. Ky still hasn't gotten over losing Sammy. They were really close.

In Sammy's place we bought two Chihuahuas. They are both girls and they are really sweet. Millie is the smaller dog with white paws and Cocoa is the big dog. The kids love them. Lexi, our other dog, tolerates them.



"Dog Pile!"


We had to take Lexi in to the vet. She squealed every time someone went to pick her up. She had gone on a walk with Don. She likes to hop in the basket underneath and ride. Well, she went to get out and Don ran over her with the stroller. She limped for a few days after. We took her in yesterday. Her foot wasn't hurting anymore, but she was obviously in pain. Come to find out, Lexi has a slipped disk. They sent us home with some Prednisone and some pain reliever. We keep giving gave her some in some chicken and she is a happy camper.

We just found our small camera. I may be posting a lot in the next little while just to post all the pictures. Then again, maybe I won't.

Swine Flu Epidemic

I just came home from school after many e-mails to teachers about the Swine Flu. We sent out fliers to all the parents regarding the virus. I heard that they closed down a Park City school because of probable cases with five students. Even with all this media scare I've been thinking that everything will just be fine. I mean the child that died in Texas was from Mexico and just came here a month or so ago, right?

Well I went to pick up Zander and Dresden at Debbie's. She greeted me with a sickly daughter. She has a temperature and a runny nose. She just wants to be held. I try not to get too worked up about things in the media, but with Dresden just being sick, I get a little paranoid.

I thought this would be a good time for me to share an e-mail sent to me today from the Health Department on what teachers are to watch for:

Recommendations for Teachers and School Personnel

How do I know if a child might have swine flu?
A person can spread the swine influenza before symptoms begin. A person may be able to infect another person one day before symptoms start and up to seven or more days after becoming sick. People with swine influenza virus infection should be considered contagious as long as they show symptoms. Children, especially younger children, may be contagious for longer periods.

Symptoms of swine influenza are similar to those of the common flu.
o Fever and chills
o Sore throat
o Cough
o Headache, body aches, and fatigue
o Diarrhea and vomiting can also be present

Watch for these symptoms in children:
o Fever with a rash
o Dehydration
o Fast breathing
o Bluish skin coloration
o Slow to wake or sluggish interaction
o Flu-like symptoms improve, but then return and cough worsens
o Severe irritability
If a child in your class shows these symptoms, remove them from the classroom and take them to the school nurse or school office. The school nurse should refer the child for medical treatment with their primary care provider, or emergency room.

How can I help prevent the spread of swine flu in the classroom?
To prevent exposure to the flu virus in the classroom, teach the same precautions as those to prevent the regular influenza (commonly known as seasonal influenza):
o Cover your mouth and nose with a tissue when you cough or sneeze and discard the tissue.
o Wash hands often with soap and water or use an alcohol-based hand sanitizer when hand washing is not possible.
o Avoid touching your eyes, nose or mouth, as germs can more easily gain entrance into your body through those areas.
o Remind parents that if children are sick, they should remain at home.

Other Resources
For more information, please visit: www.health.utah.gov/swineflu

Dresden, starting early

I just came back from Smiths. I needed to pick up a few things at the store. Zander, Dresden, and I all went. Zander wanted the little shopping cart and so that is what we used. After we paid, Zander was tired of pushing the cart. I let Dresden push just to see if it was something she might want to do. Not only did she want to push it, but she insisted on pushing the shopping cart all the way to the car. I just kept thinking, here we go...

I believe in miracles

Do you believe in miracles?

I don't know how to start this blog except to say that there might be an opening for an assistant recorder at another temple. Don has wanted to be an assistant recorder since he first started working at Jordan River Temple as a clerk over five years ago. The position requires a degree and it is extremely difficult to get such a position in the church. Don spoke with HR about such a position a year ago and they let him know that he wouldn't be a candidate until he had his bachelors degree.

Now let me tell you why I still think he deserves it. Don has over five years experience of working in the temple office. He knows the policies and the procedures. He knows the rolls that volunteers and staff members play and how to keep both happy. He has the experience that a degree cannot give him. He has the social skills and the understanding needed to be an assistant recorder.

I think it takes more than all of that though to work in the temple. Don has the spirit needed to work in such a position. He works hard all of the time to keep his spirit pure. He listens to good music. He reads his scriptures daily. He holds Family Home Evening every Sunday. He doesn't watch very much T.V. and when he does, he turns it right off when there is something offensive. He is the only person I know of that has cried many nights because he had the desire to get set apart as a High Priest. Ky's primary teacher has told us many times that Ky is the one in his primary class that knows all the answers and that is because Don spends time daily teaching his children principles of the gospel.

It would be a miracle if Don were to actually be considered for the position. But I believe in miracles. I know that it was a miracle that my companion and I were protected in the park when that man was following us. It was a miracle when we sold our last house. It was a miracle that Don turned out great after being orphaned at 11 and growing up in group homes with rebellious teenagers. It was a miracle that Kyath's eyesight went from blind to not needing any glasses. It was a miracle that when Porter fell down the stairs and got a cut near his eye, that it was just near and did not effect his eyesight. It was a miracle that when Porter was doused in gasoline, he did not catch on fire. It was a miracle that Kyath did not cross that busy street when he wandered away from home at two years old. It was a miracle that Kyath didn't fall out of the car when he opened the door on the freeway. It was a miracle when Porter didn't drown when he fell into that pond at Fermont Park.

I believe that my family has experienced more miracles than I can number. I know that God loves everyone and is there to help anyone that reaches out to him. He is working miracles everyday. I cannot deny God's hand in me and my family's life. He has been leading the way and we have tried to follow. I am hoping that maybe, just maybe, he has been preparing a way for Don to get a position as an assistant recorder.