Deep Throat 2

I went in today for a throat scope.  I thought I might feel better after the procedure.  I was wrong.  At least now I can take something for pain.  They dilated my throat and took 4 biopsies.  I asked the doctor what he found, but he said he wouldn't say anything until after the biopsies come back.  Here is to more waiting.

The secret posts

Saturday is the only day I have time to post.  So I was looking at the blog to see if I have posted every Saturday.  There are some Saturdays without any posts, and yet they are on my list of posts.  It is frustrating that there are experiences at work that I cannot share because I am an educator.  I wish there was a way to share some of my classroom experiences without breaching confidentiality. 

Report Cards

I sent out report cards this week.  Students can get a 1-3, 3 being the highest, a p for passing, or an n for needs improvement.  As I was doing the grades, I basically gave any student in the 90% a 3, 80% a 2, 70% a 1, 60% a p, and an N for anyone under 60%.  I believe all students should be able to get a three if they earn it. 

That being said, my class report cards were very low.  It always seems that they are at the beginning of the year.  I don't know if students are just used to getting a good grade despite not putting forth any effort.  Once my students realize that I do expect them to work and earn their grade, most try harder. 

As a teacher, I do not mark off points for late assignments.  I send home a list of missing assignments every couple of weeks.  I even attach all the missing assignments to the paper.  There is a reason I give out an assignment.  If a student hasn't done the assignment, I want them to take their time to get it done. 

I send home a weekly calendar that lists all the homework assignments for the week so parents know what is due when.  I am a working mother, so I try to make life easier for other working parents to keep track of what is happening at school.  And yet, I still have parents surprised their child is missing assignments. 

I can't wait to get feedback from the report cards.

Christmas and Neighborhood Cats

I went to put up our tree last week.  As Porter and I were straightening out the branches I smelled a urine odor.  I kept straightening out the branches hoping I was just imagining it.  But there was no denying it.  Something got to our tree.  The only thing I can think of is neighborhood cats. Stupid cats.  We threw the tree away. 

We ended up getting a real tree this year.  It looks fabulous.  It doesn't smell like urine either.  If anyone has connections to artificial trees for next year, send me a line. 

Deep Throat

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Just Call Him Mr. McFeely

 

Don started working as a substitute mail carrier for the post office about a week ago.  He is working in the Millcreek area off of 3300 South.  He is limping around like an old man.  He runs from house to house because he has to have the mail delivered before 5:00 P.M. There was one day that he was way behind.  But yesterday he seemed to be getting a hang of it. I keep waiting for the neighborhood dogs to realize he is a mailman an to go wild as soon as he drives up.


http://www.tubechop.com/watch/4164217 

Praise Orrin Hatch

I sent Orrin Hatch a link to my blog.  I really did not expect an answer.  I just wanted to let the senators and representatives know a teacher's point of view about current education.  I thought it was classy that he responded.  I also sent links to Mia Love, Jason Chavetz, Mike Lee, and Chris Stewart. 

Orrin Hatch response

Dear Mrs. Moore:

            Thank you for contacting me to express concern with SAGE testing and the use of test results to measure student and teacher performance. As an educator, I appreciate the role that you play in preparing future generations of society and am glad you shared with me some of your thoughts on testing. I welcome the opportunity to respond.

            As you know, the Student Assessment of Growth and Excellence (SAGE) is Utah’s assessment system aligned to the state’s core standards. In your blog, you assert that placing too much emphasis on SAGE and other test results fail to actually improve the education of students. I believe that we should do all we can to teach children, and equip them with the needed skills to succeed in an increasingly global society.

            While there are a variety of thoughts and opinions on what role testing should play in measuring student success, ultimately I believe these decisions are most effectively made at the state and local levels with appropriate federal support. I believe with more local control parents, teachers, and administrators will be able to address and implement the needed changes in local schools.

            As choices regarding curriculum and testing standards for Utah students are primarily made at the state and local level, I would encourage you to share your concerns with your representatives in the Utah State Legislature and with state education officials. You can find their information by visiting http://le.utah.gov/.

Again, thank you for writing to me.  I hope you continue to share your concerns and suggestions with me in the future. If you would like to have regular updates on my work in the U.S. Senate, I encourage you to subscribe to my E-newsletter, visit my Facebook page, and follow me on Twitter.

Life as a Teacher

Life as a teacher is much different than it used to be.  Teachers used to be appreciated.  When students struggled, it was up to the student to improve.  Nowadays, if students are below or struggling, it is blamed on the teacher.  When I first started teaching, I agreed with this concept.  I felt it was my duty as a teacher to get all the students up to grade level and fill in all the gaps.  What I didn't have was experience actually teaching.

What I see now is that there are students that should have been held back a grade and are still allowed to move up to the next grade.  This is something done in Utah, but not most other states.  In fact, in Nevada, students have to pass end of year exams.  In their last year of school, they must pass a huge exam before they can get their degree.  In Utah, elementary school and junior high school, students can fail all their classes and tests and still go on.  Students learn fast that it really doesn't matter if they put any effort into school, because they are not held accountable. 

I have a student that should not be in second grade.  He does not know how to sit in a chair.  He can't add single digits (We are adding triple digits currently) and cannot read one syllable words.  Yet, he is in second grade and I am expected to have him up to second grade level by the end of the year.  I approached the parents about getting him tested for special interventions.  Their response was that I hate their son and haven't realized how smart he is.  They refused special testing and any thing else that I have suggested, because I "hate him".  He doesn't have a coat.  I tried to get him School Bell and Shop with a Cop so that he could get the clothes he needed.  His parents were livid.  I have my hands tied.  I cannot get him tested without parental consent.  I cannot get him the services he needs to be successful.

My district mandates end of level tests for every unit.  The tests are called "Interims".  These results go to the principal, vice-principal, and the district.  After the tests, we have a meeting where our results are compared to other teachers in the school and district.  The district insists that the results have no bearing on the teacher whatsoever.  But yet, these results are brought up in evaluation meetings throughout the year.

The 2nd language arts interim mandated by the district includes two different stories that students read and answer questions.  There are also questions about spelling, vocabulary, and grammar.  The district has specified that the teachers are only allowed to read the questions and not give any extra help.  Students must read the story on their own.

So I gave my students the 2nd language arts interim yesterday and today.  In my class, I have 18 students that have grown up speaking a different language other than English.  I have many students that cannot read grade level texts.  Three of my students cannot read.  My question is, how is it fair that I cannot read the stories to my students?  How are my students supposed to answer questions to something that they themselves cannot read?

So much emphasis is put on testing and results.  This is ineffective.  We should follow Finland's example.  Finland uses a non-competitive educational system.  They do not put students under testing stress or competition.  They are one of the most successful countries of the world.  Japan, #1 in education, includes testing but limits the length of said tests and does not over test.  American is putting their emphasis on the wrong thing.  The worst part, I have no say.

After seven years of teaching, a B.A. in Elementary Education, a Masters in Education with an emphasis on reading, and an ESL endorsement, I know my students' strengths and weaknesses.  I know ahead of time whether a student has mastered a concept and whether they will pass an end of unit assessment.  I know which students are not intellectually mature enough to understand a concept.  I know which students will pass with flying colors.  The state and the country does not seem to understand this.  More trust needs to be put into the teachers.

SAGE testing

The above screen shot is a practice question on the SAGE for fifth grade math.  Notice how students need to drag the numbers to the correct spot.  It is not multiple choice in this instance.

I have read and listened to news agencies explain SAGE testing and I am not impressed.  I am not sure how they can even call it reporting when they have such misinformation.  SAGE testing cannot be compared to CRT tests in any way.  News agencies have reported that students scores went down and that shows students are not as educated as they have been in the past.  This is like comparing apples to oranges.  They are two different beasts.

At a faculty meeting we were discussing how to get correct information out to the public.  We decided the best way was to send individual results home to parents and then invite parents to a meeting where they could find out more about SAGE testing.  One teacher suggested putting some actual questions from the SAGE test up on a screen to show parents the difference of SAGE questions verses CRT questions.  What a concept! 

CRT tests measured students ability to regurgitate answers.  Students were given a choice of A, B,C, or D.  They colored in one circle and went on the the next question.  Growing up I was taught that if I didn't know the answer, I should just choose C.  Over the years, it became clear that students were not really being tested on what they knew, but one their ability to take tests.  

SAGE tests are set up to measure comprehension.  Many questions have more than one answer.  Some questions tell students to choose all the correct answers to a question.  There could be three choices that need to be selected in order to get a question correct.  Most questions have students prove that their answer is correct.  Students need to provide a proof drawing that the answer they have is correct by drawing a picture of some sort to show their pathway of thinking. 

As a teacher, it was difficult administering the SAGE test last year.  I would see students only choosing one answer when it said to select all the right answers.  I would see students soaring through the test, not even reading the stories that went with the questions.  The hardest was when it was a question that I had taught all year, and the student wrote the wrong answer.  I am restricted as a test administrator and am only allowed to say certain things.  So to know that a student wasn't done with a test and having to allow them to submit the test, it was a lesson in endurance. 

The SAGE test is a measuring tool for teachers to know what they have taught well and what they should spend more time teaching in the future.  It is also an indicator of what level a student in on in reading, science, and math. 

That being said, parents are at liberty to write their school district and board of education and insist that their student not take the SAGE test.  I believe there are certain students that would be better off not taking the test.  I have opted Kyath out of taking SAGE tests.  They are more of a disservice to him.  He shuts down and has a melt down when he takes tests.  Porter, Zander, and Dresden (when she is in third grade) will continue to take SAGE tests.

As a parent, you should go to www.sageportal.org and try working on some of the SAGE questions.  Then you will know if the CRT and SAGE test results can be compared.  You will find as I have, that the only thing SAGE can be compared to is SAGE. 

Praying for Trails

A Counselor in my bishopric bore his testimony about trials and how trials strengthen him in the areas he needs strength.  He said he had been praying for trials so he can learn the things he needs to learn.  I kept thinking the entire rest of sacrament meeting about how I can't pray for more trials because I haven't overcome the ones I have.  Is there a time limit on trials?  Do some last until you learn what you are supposed to learn?  What if I never learn what I am supposed to learn from a trial?  Does that mean those trials will never go away?

There were some great testimonies and I did listen to them.  But I still had this nagging voice in the background telling me what I am supposed to learn from my trials.  I kept thinking about these lessons and what was keeping me from learning what I needed to learn.  I came away from sacrament with a pounding headache. 

It seems like Sundays are the days that I look at my shortcomings and realize how far off track I am.  I am disappointed in me and I wish I was that person I knew I was going to become when I was a child.  It makes me think of the decisions I have made and made me wonder how I got here in the first place. 

I don't think that I earn special trials come just because of mistakes I myself have made.  Trials can come because of those around me and the choices they have made, among other things.  Sometimes trials come to teach me things I need to know in the future.  Trials don't always come just because of a bad choice.  Trails are just a part of life.  It is hard looking just in the present and trying to understand why I am dealing with the things I am dealing with. 

When I met with my mission president on the last day of my mission, I told him that I didn't feel like I had served a mission.  He was puzzled by my statement.  I tried to explain that I thought I would finish my mission being exalted because of all my hard work.  Instead, it was just the end of one experience and the beginning of another. 

So, when can this phase of my life end and lead to friendlier, easier phases?  Please don't tell me that it keeps getting harder.  I would like to believe that there are easier days ahead.  I am not trying to be negative.  I am just trying to understand why life gets so hard sometimes.

Living the Dream

One Saturday when I was helping to clean the ward, I asked the man in charge how he was doing.  He looked me in the eye and said, "Living the dream."  I have taken that and used it as my own response when people ask me how I am doing.

I was talking to Robin yesterday at Amanda's wedding and I explained that it was really good that I went to East Germany on my mission.  On my mission, I learned to appreciate the bare necessities.  I remember the apartment where we had to build fires to keep warm.  I remember the split where there was a VERY limited amount of hot/warm water.  I remember the month in a new companionship when the companion had already spent most of her money for the month before she was transferred and we survived on the money that I had left for that month.  Then there was the other companion that spent all her money and I once again helped our companionship float until the next month.  These were all experiences that formed who I am.  I expect little and am appreciative for anything and everything. 

So how does this all tie in?  Well, things are pretty stressful right now.  But I can still say I am living the dream.  I have running hot and cold water.  I have heat and electricity.  My family is healthy (maybe not mentally, but that is a subject for another time).  I have a job.  We have food.  We are very blessed. 

So Tired

I went to bed at 7:00 PM last night and I didn't wake up until 10:00 AM this morning. Then I took a three hour nap today.  I know it is from depression.  I need to get on top of this. 

Life Changing Events

After 18 years of working at the church, Don quit his job September 1st.  He says the atmosphere has been far from heavenly.  It was hard for him to work with the individuals in the office.  Don has been elated to be away from his job.  He has been working hard at home trying to clean the house and keep everyone fed. 

One might ask how I am taking it...I am in survival mode.  I know that Don needed to get a different job.  It just seemed like such a toxic atmosphere. But the stress that I feel is overpowering.  I now carry the benefits for the family.  I am stressed with the knowledge that I am the sole provider for the family when I just don't feel like a mother should have to work.  I really think that when Don gets another job, he will make more than he was and it will be better for our family in the long run. 

The contrast between Don's and my stress are very divergent.  Don feels happy for the first time in a long time.  I, on the other hand, have been very grumpy and short with people.  I have had a headache all week.  I went in to InstaCare yesterday and I have a UTI infection.  I switched our insurance to my name and they couldn't find me in the system at InstaCare and at the pharmacy.  I finally just payed cash to get the antibiotics. 

I stayed up all night because I didn't feel well and I took today off.  Hopefully I will feel better by tomorrow because I have no choice but to be at the top of my game.

Dr. Lew Gardner

After my last post, I am a little afraid of posting.  There were so many strong reactions on Facebook, that I am hesitant.  But yet, here I am.  I want to focus this post on the stress teachers are facing.  Here's hoping that people will understand what I am trying to get across.

Being a teacher has its ups and downs.  I truly love teaching.  I could do without the negativity and criticism that I face daily.  I know I am not alone in this matter.

I worked in the SLCSD from 1995-2007 before I came back to the district last year.  Back them I had my teaching degree, but worked as a Family Support Specialist working as a liaison between families and Government programs.  I remember a specific principal that everyone praised.  He was being moved to a position at the district and everyone was ecstatic.  We were going to have someone at the district that had been down in the trenches with the best of them and knew what it was like.  I am being non-specific for a reason, as I still work for the district.

Fast forward to today.  This is my seventh year of teaching.  I have worked with some great principals and some terrible principals.  The great ones have always been positive and focused on what I was doing right and how to get better.  The terrible principals were negative and found only negative things to say, squelching my enthusiasm.  I have always been a better teacher the years that I have supportive principals. 

Of the seven years I have taught, I have had a great principal for two years.  One year my principal was okay.  Four of the years, I have worked with terrible, mean people.  This year is one of the great years.  So I have nothing but praises for Dr. Lew Gardner. 

Ogden Temple

We went to the Ogden Temple open house today.  We were pleasantly surprised after the fiasco at the Brigham City Temple.  It was a perfect day and a good time to spend time with my family.

When we went to the Brigham City one it was poorly planned.  They had the line go through a parking garage and showed the video there in the boiling garage.  There was a girl in front of us that actually passed out.  Then it was very crowded in the temple itself.  So many people came back from that open house with the stories of great experiences, but not my family.

The Ogden Temple open house was much better.  They had the video in the Conference Center.  Then there was plenty of room for people to walk through the temple.  I was able to take my family though vaguely explaining each room.  I love the Celestial Room.  Zander wanted to touch the water in the baptismal font.  Don wanted to talk to the temple recorder.  Kyath asked questions.  Porter is at scout camp, so he missed it.  Dresden just wanted to keep the booties afterwards.  They even had a spot in the visitors tent where we were able to take a picture of our family in front of a huge picture. 

Washington D.C.

Washington D.C. was an enlightening experience for me.  It was easy to get stressed out by all the crowds and things to see.  That was one of the best things about being there with my mom.  We didn't feel like we had to see everything.  It was our vacation and we could do as we pleased.

Our hotel was within walking distance of a Safeway.  We were able to go there and buy food items and keep them in the hotel.  We expected it to be expensive, but they were priced pretty similar to the prices we see at home.  They had a huge breakfast bar every morning and the lobby was crowded with people each morning.  I don't think mom and I ate one breakfast together because according to her, I slept in.  She was an early riser and was downstairs by 6:30 most mornings.  I usually went down around 8:30.  

Mom and I spent the first day taking the Big Bus Tour.  Is is a bus that goes throughout the city and has stops along the way.  They gave out headphones and rain ponchos.  There are four different routes it takes.  We went on the yellow route into Georgetown.  We stopped to find somewhere to use a bathroom and ended up walking down a hill.  My mom reminded me that there was no way we could get back up the hill.  I panicked when I couldn't find another Big Bus to get on.  After I looked and looked, one finally came by and we flagged it down.  Pheew! 

We also went on the red bus which led us to the Ford Theater among other things.  We found a cute little diner right across from it.  We were surprised when we ordered Coke and they brought us a can with a cup and ice.

It was really hard to find fountain drinks in D.C.  I drove my mom crazy by going on a wild goose chase in the evening looking for my daily Coke.  One night I walked all the way to Walgreens because I was assured by a mail carrier that they had one.  I pulled out a cup and went to fill it.  All of the Coke products were gone.  I think they only thing left was Sprite.  I couldn't believe it. Another day I walked and walked and never did find one.  The last night I thought about going to Safeway.  I almost kicked myself when I saw that they had Coke and it was right by our hotel.  All those nights I spent searching and I could have just gone to Safeway. 

We had an appointment to see the Capitol on Sunday.  A Big Bus operator told us that the capitol is never open on a Sunday and so we didn't end up going.  We figured she would know better than we did and that they had made the appointment by mistake.  Later we found out the Capitol was open and we could have gone.  I was not happy.  We went to the Capital the next day and went through the visitors center.  I really wish we could have seen inside. 

We made sure to see all the monuments.  There was a green bus that actually drove us around to all of them.  They are farther apart than you would think.  As we were driving to the Pentagon I took some pictures.  Then the recording on the bus told everyone that is is against the law to take pictures of the Pentagon.  I quickly put my camera away.  The recording said it was for security purposes.  Mom and I thought it was interesting that when you look at the Pentagon you can't really tell that it is in the shape of the Pentagon.  By the time they announced it, it was too late to look at the shape.  I wished the bus would have driven by the 9/11 memorial at the Pentagon, but instead the recording just mentioned it as we drove away.

The last day we went to the National Archives and the Air and Space Museum.  Mom and I actually went in the back and registered with the National Archives.  We spent some time researching on the computer and were issued identification cards.  There were links to genealogy sites that are open to the public.  I really think mom enjoyed our visit there. 

In case you were wondering, the other bus was the blue bus.  We took that as well.  I couldn't leave you hanging.

The thing that amazed me most was seeing so many Government buildings in one area.  It put my vision of the United States of America in a different light.  Washington D.C. is so much smaller than I thought it would be.  But at the same time, I didn't feel like I was among Government officials until we were by the Capitol.  It makes all the Presidential scandals seem so hard to believe, but so real at the same time.  On the bus tour they would point to a hotel and explain how this was the hotel where President Clinton and Monica Lewinsky would meet.  They pointed to another and said Martin Luther King Jr. stayed there the night before he delivered the "I Have a Dream" speech.  One of the hotels was where Lincoln stayed.  Washington D.C.  is such a historical hotspot.  It was a life changing experience to actually be there.

I will add pictures in a few days.

Williamsburg, Virginia

In June I had the honor of going with my mom to Washington D.C.  I have always wanted to go and was actually planning on going when I found out my mom was planning a trip as well.  We went together and I will always hold on to the memory because it was so special.

My mom and I flew into Williamsburg, Virginia.  We spent three days there with my niece and nephew Cami and Derrick Struksma and their daughter Zoe.  My brother Dan was nice enough to let us use three nights of his timeshare.  It was five minutes away from Cami and Derrick and was like a studio apartment with two bedrooms.  Our back patio looked out into a field.

I was excited to spend time with Cami because she is so fun and easy to get along with.  Cami and Derrick have a fun relationship that entails a lot of teasing and sarcasm.  They are both highly intelligent, sociable, and amazing people.  When it comes right down to it, Cami and Derrick are truly meant for each other.  

We spent our time in Virginia visiting Williamsburg, Jamestown, and William and Mary College.

Williamsburg was full of historical buildings and enchanting town actors.  I was excited to buy a whistle that was handmade there in Williamsburg.  I plan to use it to call my students attention in school.  There was a lot of walking there and I made mom walk further than she should have so that I could send a postcard to my family right from the Williamsburg post office.  There were shoe maker shops, seamstress shops,  and gardens.  Cami explained that all of the people actually make things how they were made back in colonial Williamsburg times.  They used antiquated tools, out of date technology, and historic methods.  Cami and I went off to find a bathroom.  That was about the time she told Zoe there was a frog in the grass next to her and Zoe started to run for her life.  There is a story about Cami, Zoe, and a frog from earlier in the month that you just have to hear Cami tell because it is hysterical.

Mom and I took a train from Williamsburg to Washington D.C.  It was difficult boarding the train, finding seats, and stowing our luggage.  I really thought someone would take pity on us and help us out, but it was a fend for yourself type atmosphere.  A kind lady offered to change seats so that mom and I could sit together.  When we arrived at the D.C. train station we were more than overwhelmed.  We did not know where our hotel was or the best way to get there.  We decided on taking a taxi and were relived when he loaded and unloaded the luggage for us.

Next post will be about Washington D.C.

Recuperating

My family has had and evil virus since the first week of June. Kyath was hit first.  He had a fever, chills, cough, and was just plain tired.  To be honest, I thought he was over exaggerating his case because he still had school.  So I gave him a limited amount of sympathy.

Zander was hit next.  He had all the same symptoms and just sat on the couch all day.  I had more sympathy for him because he is a tough kid and who plays sick during summer vacation?

What I haven't touched on is that both Kyath's and Zander's sicknesses lasted two weeks.  It is a pretty nasty case of the flu.  I kept thinking that they would be feeling better the next day, and each day they just became progressively worse.  Zander's started the two weeks after Kyath was sick, so I thought we were out of the woods as far as the rest of the family getting it. 

Around the time Zander started to get better, Dresden caught the flu.  She wanted to be held and taken care of every minute of the day for the entire two weeks.  I took her in to Instacare.  I had kept asking Kyath if he wanted to go to Instacare when he was sick and he kept saying he wasn't sure. Then I thought Zander could get through it if Kyath could.  I probably took her in because she was so needy.  That sounds awful, but it is probably true.

The doctor at Instacare diagnosed Dresden with "Walking Pneumonia."   She was prescribed an antibiotic.  That was about the time I felt like a terrible mom.  Here I had two other kids that had walking pneumonia and I just let them suffer through it.

As Dresden started feeling better, Porter came down with it.  I loaded him up with cough drops and decongestant.  After a week I took him in and he was diagnosed with Walking Pneumonia.  He was giving antibiotics and started to get better with the antibiotics.  He is still coughing throughout the day and is a little tired. as well.

You can guess what happened next.  I came down with it.  I had all the same symptoms of chills, fever, cough, headache, and low energy.  I went to Instacare.  The doctor came in the room laughing and apologized.  He wondered if I had heard him make fun of me to the nurses for calling it Walking Pneumonia.  He said, "They don't use that term anymore and I wondered if there was a 60 year old women in here."  That's when I knew I was in trouble.  I decided to hold back the snotty remark hanging on my tongue that it was the doctors at Instacare that had diagnosed my two children with the antiquated term Walking Pneumonia.

He listened to my lungs, looked in the mouth and ears, and checked my thyroid.  He told me I had the flu.  He gave me cough medicine and told me to suffer through it.  He told me to come back if the symptoms worsen.  I was upset.   I expected to get antibiotics like Dresden and Porter.

So here we are half way through summer vacation and I feel like I haven't even had a summer.  Besides the trip to D.C. (Way amazing by the way) I have been living in a sick ward.  I am so tired and am still fighting the flu.  I slept ten hours last night.  Then I took a two hour nap this afternoon.  Dresden begged and begged to go to the parade tonight, so I finally gave in and took her.  It took all my energy.  It is just crazy.  I hope no one else gets this because it is just terrible. 

Meanwhile I feel like I have neglected my brother Dex and my sister-in-law Robin for not calling and acknowledging the birth of their sweet girl.  I of course can 't visit because I wouldn't want to pass this on with their new born in the NICU.

I have also neglected my foster brother Travis and sister-in-law Kari with their newborn as well.  He is five weeks old and I haven't even given them a call.  They probably feel like I don't even care.  That's not the case.

Then there is Shelley who just has a hysterectomy.  I would have loved to visit her in her time of need.  I am thrilled that the operation went well and that the prognosis is good.  I love her and hope to make it up to her.

I wish I could help Debbie.  I know she is getting ready for Avery's farewell and as yet still doesn't have a kitchen.  I wish I could take part of her load.

There are so many people that I should be helping or at least visiting and I am just not to that point yet.  I wish I could just get this virus over and done with and get on with my life.  My fingers are still crossed that Don doesn't get it. 

New Outlook

So I realized just how important it is to have a digital footprint. Crazy you say? Let me explain. My friend Jordan Fowles died two weeks ago. The first thing I did was spend hours reading all the entries of his on Facebook. Then I went to all and any relatives' Facebook accounts to read as much as I could. It hit me that I needed to know what was going on in his life even though I had kept contact with him through the years.

I did the very same thing when my mission companion Susan Candland Bromley died. I had to know about her family. I needed to know more about what was going on to cause her tragedy.

So I am thus compelled to make a record of me and my family. It is not a matter of vanity or being self absorbed. It is just a drawing force in my life right now that I can't explain. There is a cute saying that I saw once at Kneaders. It says, "May your life be as happy as you pretend it is on Facebook." I am not out to show off or try to make anyone like me better. I just need to do this for me.

Today my oldest son, Ky, did something that brings tears to my eyes. I was out with Don and my second oldest, Porter, when he called. He said he felt like he needed to give some money to a neighbor. I told him that if he felt he should, then he should. He has been working a concrete construction job this summer. It is hard work, but it has taught him amazing things. His payday was Friday, so he had some money to spare.

When I came home, he couldn't wait to tell me how good it felt. He said he went to the neighbor and was tongue tied. He explained that he couldn't get his words out so that they made sense. Then he pulled out the money and explained to her that she has done so much for him and he felt inspired that he needed to bring her the money. She wouldn't take the money, but my son insisted. They both were in tears. She told him that she needed the exact amount he had just given her because her tires were bald and she was going out of town.

My payoff is that my oldest son has learned to listen to the still small voice and recognizes its promptings. He is only 15 and he has become such a man just these last two months. I can't thank Ben, his boss enough for giving this difficult job. It has helped Ky learn important life lessons life persistence and charity. I sure love that boy.